UNI-LAZY CONTEST WINNERS

Congrats to the winners of the March Contest "Why I am so lazy I deserve a Uni-Lazy"!  Their winning entries are below...I think we can all agree these guys are definately lazy enough to deserve their free Uni-Lazys!

My laziness is so high on the laziness scale that I had to have my wife buy a voice recognition software program to type this email.  I had to have her load it on my computer as I have no desire to exert myself.  I had her speak my thoughts into the software as I really have no desires to work hard enough to communicate.  I DO have the garden urinehose hooked up for my relief, thanks to my wife.  Heck I can't even get up enough gumption to provide you with pictures of my laziness because pictures require work, which is something I don't do either.  You will just have to take my word for it.  Well my wife has to go to work now so we will close this.  I may have to have my wife figure a way to get me into the Uni-Lazy if we win, but figuring takes effort which is tough.
Paul D. Burg

I’m so lazy I’m using thought recognition software to write this.
I’m so lazy I do not blink.
I’m so lazy I hibernate 18 months out of the year.
I’m so lazy that if Superman flew around the world so fast that we would all go back in
time, I would still be in the same place; in my recliner.
I’m so lazy I do not go to the bathroom, I wait for it to come to me.
I’m so lazy I think the Carmichael workout is saying, “Michael, get the car”.
I’m so lazy I don’t even think about procrastinating.
I’m so lazy everything is a mighty big “IF”.
I’m so lazy you would need an electron microscope to see my ambition.
I’m so lazy I couldn’t qualify for the Sloth Olympics.

Joel